Cuffing Season

this is old but it felt appropriate. I wrote this about a month ago on my facebook. I decided to share it with you guys here on my blog.



Cuffing season is apparently here. What is cuffing season? Well, technically, it’s a time, usually when the weather gets colder, when young adults begin their search for love. Love or something close to it. It is usually brought on by the thought of not being able to go out every night and party and meet attractive people that are willing to have sex with no strings attached. Another factor is the unavoidable fact that the holidays are just a romantic time of year.So as I sit here in my living room, watching yet another movie about falling in love, and on Facebook, I notice a kind of outbreak of announcements of new relationships. And at that moment, I began to cry. Not a sobbing, obnoxious crying, but a few tears and a sniffle. I wasn’t crying because I was happy for my friends, though I am happy for them. I cried because, as shallow as it seems, the first thought that came to my mind was “What about me?” My best friends are falling in love everywhere I turn and here I am, after a year of being single, still unhappy. Why? I’m in love with a guy who is in love with someone else and yet can still tell me he loves me and is capable of cheating on her with me, just as he cheated on me with her. He was my first love. My first heart break. My first everything. When I think of him, there are too many emotions to even think of at one time. Love, hatred, longing, scorn, lust, revenge. I want him to feel the pain that I feel and I want him to be happy all at the same time.I watch everyone else in their relationships and I form my opinions. Some of my friends call what they are feeling love when in actuality, its infatuation at its peak and it will soon be over. Other friends are finally making things work for them with people that they have cared about for a long time. All these things make me think and feel. I think about how much I wish I had these things and I feel angry towards the people who take it for granted.When I congratulated my friend on his new relationship and he said to me “everyone else is cuffin’, so I figured why not join the bandwagon?”, my heart felt a twinge. How could he say that? Then I remembered that not everyone is an advocate for love like myself. Not everyone thinks about one day being in love and truly happy. Maybe to some, love is something that is nice to think about and maybe experience but its nothing too serious. Thoughts like that hurt but they are a sad reality. If this is so then why have people developed this train of thought? Does it come from having been heartbroken and learning to shield yourself from it ever happening again? Is it learned? Is it just something that happens with no explaination. Can it be reversed? Will people start to appreciate love one day? The truth is I don’t have those answers. I do fear though that the answers will reveal themselves at be answers that I will not like.Why is it that the girl who would do any and everything for someone she loves, is constantly alone and unloved? I know life isn’t fair but is it that unfair? Is it that impossible? Will I forever remain the single friend that listens to problems and yet can never be consoled by someone she cares about? I don’t ask these things to seem self centered but I can’t help but to wonder. Isn’t it human nature to wan t be cared about? Or is it just MY nature? If being in love was portrayed as a war, would I be the last solider standing? Should I wave the white flag and give up? As far as cuffing season is concerned, I think its stupid because love shouldn’t be for a season. It should be for a lifetime. It should be forever. It IS forever. And I’m ready for my forever but forever is taking forever to get here. Try as I might, being the positive and optimistic romantic is hard work.For those who are single as well and aren’t as upset as I am, this may seem foolish and stupid, but I can’t help how I feel. You may be one of those people I mentioned earlier but I certainly am not. But again I’m asking, why is the #1 supporter of love, love-resistant?