Saftey First

Helloo, dearies!

It is such a gorgeous day outside and I have yet to do anything with myself. That is so tragic. I came home for a bit because my French professor took a week off from class. So I decided to come home and see my famiy and friends. However, in less than 24 hrs, I managaed to argue with my mother over an outfit I chose to wear and she managed to kill my mood instantly. =\ Such is life. I still went to the "cousins" though. We saw the movie Drag Me to Hell. That movie WAS HELL! I hated it! It was so ridiculous! Horror movies are the worst now. They just do not scare me anymore. Besides the movie though, I had a great night. Lots of laughs.

So I don't think I will be seeing Tye while I'm home =(. Sucks because I miss him. I did however see my ex I mentioned in the last post who just broke up with that silly tattoo girl. Hes just as tall, dark and handsome as I remember. And he smelled AMAZING! If there is one thing that I love on the opposite sex, its cologne! I will smell it in he air and have to look around to find out where it is coming from. A guy that smells good is huge TURN ON for me. And not every scent works for everbody but when i smell it on a guy it works for.....well..... ;) hahahaha. It just makes me want to be next to the guy and breathe it in. When I hugged my ex, I didn't want to let go. Okay I'm doing a lot right now but that just proves how much I love a man that smells DELICIOUS! And it doesn't have to be cologne either. It can be the fresh from the shower smell as well. Just good smells on a man drive me wild. And yesterday, my ex was looking and smelling GREAT! BUT I controled myself and acted completly normal. Hes interested in starting a sexual relationship with me again. Although the offer is tempting, I'm nots ure its a good idea.

Which brings me to my topic for today's post. When is sex ever safe??

I stole that line from Sex and the City. But Carrie brings up a good question. Especially for women. Is it ever possible to just have a sexual relationship with someone with absolutly NO feelings attached? In my honest opinion, I don't believe so. I believe that as wome, we are emotional. Thats just the way it is. Some of us hide or supress emotion better than others but we have them. And having sex with someone does not always mean that you have to have feelings for that person. It could stem form you having feelings for someone else and you are trying to fill a void or make the other person jealous. Whatever the reason, sex is never emotionally safe.

So is it safe that I have sex with a guy that I once dated and cared for, however short the relationship was, now that we are over? Am I emotionally capable of that. Is my heart on safety right now? I'm not sure it ever is.

Steph and I had talked about her idea of the perfect friends with benefits relationship. She said that she wants a guy that she can have sex with, still be friends, and have no romatic feelings attached. Sounds simple. Here is the catch. He cannot sleep with other girls. Everyone, including myself, except Sara and AnaKay, told her thats not how friends with benefits work. If he is committed to only having sex with you, he is not truly a friend with benefits. My frind with benefits has had sex with other girls after he and I started our sexual relationship. And to be totally hones, I would rather he did not. Because on some level I have started to like him a little more than as a friend (my point about women not being able to keep emotions out of sex). However I have no right to tell him he should not have sex wih anyone but me because he and I are not in a relationship. He is my friend. And just like when we were younger, and we had to learn that if a friend of yours played with someone else, it is ok because we can have multiple friends, its the same concept. My friend can haveother friends. It is my choice if I decide to not have other friends for myself and it is my own choice to be his friend or not.

Steph says that if feelngs grow later, than she will deal with it then. However, why deal with it later, when you can avoid it all together. Thats like the tattoo thing. Why get it if you know the possiblity of you having to alter it is there? Unless something is totally neccessary, don't do it just to cure a craving you want at that very minute. Why do we set ourselves up for possible failures? If we know its is not safe, why risk it? Sex is not the equivilant to love, s why do we treat it as such? Or better yet, why do we often treat it as if it is BETTER than love? Is this our way of protecting ourselves or hurting oursleves in the long run?

As for my ex and I having sex again, I'm still unsure. The sex between us was great but is it worth me risking being hurt? Hmm.

Anywho Thats my thoughts for today. I have to go monitor my little brother because he tried to trick me into thinking he was in the shower when all he did was sprinkle his face with water and spray cologne on his sweaty self. Not fooling me buddy!

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~Noelle