De Ja Vu

Okay so today I'm feeling some kind of way. Yes. Again.

I'm really starting to think that I need to go back home because I'm not as happy out here as I thought I was or would be.

I feel as though the high school stuff that I went through IN HIGH SCHOOL, is repeating itself. It's like de ja vu. The cliques within a clique. I feel as though we're Danity Kane except there are more of us. And I feel like I'm Shannon because I'm quiet and just observe and don't say a word. But its truly starting to get to me.

In high school we went through drama over people leaving other people out and petty arguments. Well, before winter break, our litle group had drama and it ended with Stephie, Misha and I being in the dog house with the rest of the girls. I was only guilty by association, as usual. The girls got over it, but ever since we got back, i've been feeling weird when I hang out with them.

I miss whats going on because no one calls me or texts me about when we are hanging out. I even spoke to my friend Desmond and he asked if I was okay and that he always sees me by myself or not at all. Which is true. I'm either alone or in my room. Stephie isn't here anymore so when the rest of the girls are acting funny, I can't even escape to her room. My other friends, Serena and Misha are great but sometimes they arent available.

It seems really sad. I love those girls but i can't help to feel that I'm just not as close with them as they have gotten and it hurts because when school started we were all so close and together all the time. I think that might have been the problem.

Anywhooo thats all for today. I just needed to vent.

~Noelle