Okay so today I'm feeling some kind of way. Yes. Again.
I'm really starting to think that I need to go back home because I'm not as happy out here as I thought I was or would be.
I feel as though the high school stuff that I went through IN HIGH SCHOOL, is repeating itself. It's like de ja vu. The cliques within a clique. I feel as though we're Danity Kane except there are more of us. And I feel like I'm Shannon because I'm quiet and just observe and don't say a word. But its truly starting to get to me.
In high school we went through drama over people leaving other people out and petty arguments. Well, before winter break, our litle group had drama and it ended with Stephie, Misha and I being in the dog house with the rest of the girls. I was only guilty by association, as usual. The girls got over it, but ever since we got back, i've been feeling weird when I hang out with them.
I miss whats going on because no one calls me or texts me about when we are hanging out. I even spoke to my friend Desmond and he asked if I was okay and that he always sees me by myself or not at all. Which is true. I'm either alone or in my room. Stephie isn't here anymore so when the rest of the girls are acting funny, I can't even escape to her room. My other friends, Serena and Misha are great but sometimes they arent available.
It seems really sad. I love those girls but i can't help to feel that I'm just not as close with them as they have gotten and it hurts because when school started we were all so close and together all the time. I think that might have been the problem.
Anywhooo thats all for today. I just needed to vent.
~Noelle
Monday, February 23, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Refreshed and Enlightened!!
PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST HAD THE MOST MENTALLY STIMULATING CONVERSATION I HAVE HAD IN A LOOOOOONG TIME!!!
So I know I just wrote a blog a few hours ago but I have been inspired to write another. And its all thanks to Stephie and her charming boyfriend, Ghaaziy.
Remember how earlier today, I said that it was feeling good? Well a few hours later I was back on a low. So, I reached out to Stephie and she told me that she had spoken to her boyfriend about me and he had some words of wosdom to share with me. She tried to relay his message herself, however, it was in vain. I love her for trying though. But anywho, she ended up just calling him and and we had about an hour conversation.
I just want to say that this young man is everything Stephie has told me and then some! He is articulate and intellegent. It was very refreshing to have such a great conversation. Lately, all my conversations consist of sex and who is fighting who and other things that seem trivial. This conversation however was positive and made me think about a lot of things.
Ghaaziy had been told that I am a hopeless romantice because, well I categorized myself as one. I sa it all the time and I pretty much embody it. But he broke it down for me where I shouldn't call myself hopeless. He brought up things such as settling and self esteem and confidence. Things that I have always had issues with. I knew I had to deal with them but up until tonight, I never actually thought about taking action. Now I just want to call or message every guy I have ever been with and tell them all why I appreciate them and why I hate them for making me feel like I do.
I feel sooooo positive right now. He hit the nail right on the head with so many different things. Right down to not wanting to wake up in the morning and go to class knowing that you have to and having a bad hair day! I'm just impressed beyond expression, honestly.
When Stephie first told me about him, I dubbed him the nickname of Mr. Bently and would joke with her about him sipping tea and nibbling on tiny cucumber sandwiches with teh crust cut off. But he proved tonight that he is more than just that. He gives off the "real nigga" vibe as well.
Thats another thing. he made me re-evaluate the word nigga and how it is used. i used to say that it is a negative word and shouldn't be said all the time but now I almost want to say it a lot more. I won't but thats just an example of how thought provoking his arguments were.
I imagine my husband and son to be somehow like that one day. Not enough young adults are. Stephie once told me about a time where he stopped and looked at a painting and appreciated it and said "I'm going to own something like this one day." All I could say was, "wow." its a beautiful thing when you meet someone new and they are on another page than the people that you usually know. Not to say that my friend sare stupid. I have very intellectual friends that all have different opinions and points of view. However, this conversation definatly ended with me being on a more positive note. It was just what I needed.
Stephie, I already told you a million times that if you break his heart, I will break your face. And vice versa. I love you beyond expression and you definatly took a major part in making me feel better tonight as well. Hold on to this one. He is a blessing that is well deserved because you in turn are a blessing to me and everyone you know. I love you, bitch! =) and thank you Ghaaziy aka Mr. Bently for a really wonderful converstaion. I think I may even quote you in my away message hahaha.
Anywhoo , loves. Its getting late and I want to go to bed before something ruins my positive parade. Good night and God bless!
~Noelle
So I know I just wrote a blog a few hours ago but I have been inspired to write another. And its all thanks to Stephie and her charming boyfriend, Ghaaziy.
Remember how earlier today, I said that it was feeling good? Well a few hours later I was back on a low. So, I reached out to Stephie and she told me that she had spoken to her boyfriend about me and he had some words of wosdom to share with me. She tried to relay his message herself, however, it was in vain. I love her for trying though. But anywho, she ended up just calling him and and we had about an hour conversation.
I just want to say that this young man is everything Stephie has told me and then some! He is articulate and intellegent. It was very refreshing to have such a great conversation. Lately, all my conversations consist of sex and who is fighting who and other things that seem trivial. This conversation however was positive and made me think about a lot of things.
Ghaaziy had been told that I am a hopeless romantice because, well I categorized myself as one. I sa it all the time and I pretty much embody it. But he broke it down for me where I shouldn't call myself hopeless. He brought up things such as settling and self esteem and confidence. Things that I have always had issues with. I knew I had to deal with them but up until tonight, I never actually thought about taking action. Now I just want to call or message every guy I have ever been with and tell them all why I appreciate them and why I hate them for making me feel like I do.
I feel sooooo positive right now. He hit the nail right on the head with so many different things. Right down to not wanting to wake up in the morning and go to class knowing that you have to and having a bad hair day! I'm just impressed beyond expression, honestly.
When Stephie first told me about him, I dubbed him the nickname of Mr. Bently and would joke with her about him sipping tea and nibbling on tiny cucumber sandwiches with teh crust cut off. But he proved tonight that he is more than just that. He gives off the "real nigga" vibe as well.
Thats another thing. he made me re-evaluate the word nigga and how it is used. i used to say that it is a negative word and shouldn't be said all the time but now I almost want to say it a lot more. I won't but thats just an example of how thought provoking his arguments were.
I imagine my husband and son to be somehow like that one day. Not enough young adults are. Stephie once told me about a time where he stopped and looked at a painting and appreciated it and said "I'm going to own something like this one day." All I could say was, "wow." its a beautiful thing when you meet someone new and they are on another page than the people that you usually know. Not to say that my friend sare stupid. I have very intellectual friends that all have different opinions and points of view. However, this conversation definatly ended with me being on a more positive note. It was just what I needed.
Stephie, I already told you a million times that if you break his heart, I will break your face. And vice versa. I love you beyond expression and you definatly took a major part in making me feel better tonight as well. Hold on to this one. He is a blessing that is well deserved because you in turn are a blessing to me and everyone you know. I love you, bitch! =) and thank you Ghaaziy aka Mr. Bently for a really wonderful converstaion. I think I may even quote you in my away message hahaha.
Anywhoo , loves. Its getting late and I want to go to bed before something ruins my positive parade. Good night and God bless!
~Noelle
Picking Up the Slack
Okay so I slacked for a little bit with updating the blog. Sorry guys =\ But I'm here to make it up to all of you.
Today is a good self esteem day for me.
First off last night I had a semi conversation with a guy that I've been lusting after for a few months. He's a party promoter in NY. All my friends know who I am talking about. I just thank my dear friend Stephie for helping with that. You are truly one of the greatest!!!
Second my friend with bennies informed me that the best sex he's ever had was with me. I know that seems like a stupid thing to be a little gassed about but lets be honest ladies and gentlemen, if your partner told you that they have the best sex with you over other people, you would get a little big headed as well. I'm just being honest here.
Also, things are going really well with Darryl. But I'm just going with the motions and not expecting anything from it. I noticed that once I invest too much, it falls apart. Besides its at the fun, flirty stage which is one of the best parts of relationships; when they are fresh and exciting and just beginning to flourish. I told him about my friend with bennies and he asked if he and I could have a relationship like that. Thats where I had to stop because I only want and need ONE friend with benefits. I explained to him that I only have that agreement with my friend because it just happened that way. And he and I have only been intimate twice and its only when we are both single and not involved with anyone else in any kind of way. It is purly physical. In fact we don't even kiss eachother because kissing is personal. Darryl said he understood. I told him that if he and I were to ever get to that point then it would be because he and I have established a relationship where we are more than friends and thats when I'd no longer need a friend with benefits. He said he'd rather work for that than have a friend with benefits thing with me. That made me feel a little better but I still have the thougt in my mind about how he jumped at the chance for sex no strings attached with me. Then again he is a guy and that usually is a guy's ideal. He's a virgin by the way. I was suprised because its by choice and he is 18. Thats not very common in teenage guys. So it just makes things more interesting.
Back to last night's conversation. It was brought up actually by another dear friend I have, whom I've mentioned before. My dearest Denley. She just randomly started a video chat session with me, of which she kicked off by performing a rendition of Souljah Boy's "Turn my Swagg On " wearing shades, martigras beads that she swears she didn't get from flashing anyone, and a scraf drapped over her head Jim Jones style. You just HAVE to love her for things like that. Anywho. She finished with her preformance and then told me about a situation that she was going throuhg. She likes a guy but doesn't know how to flirt with him. I've already explained to you all that I do not know how to flirt my way out of a brown paper bag if i had to, so I told her I couldn't help much. So we decided to have a group chat with a few people that are better flirters than we were. Stephie being one of them. We also invited Stephie's old boo and our friend from school, Danny and the part promoter. Thats how I got to speak to him. Bu it was said by the guy that I like that you can't really plan how to flirt. It has to come naturally. Which is true. It has to feel comfortable.
Denley also mentioned that she wants to flirt but doesn't want to come off as raunchy. We concluded that there is a very thin line between flirty and slutty. I think that line differs for each person though. What may be slutty to some may be not exactly conservative to others but it isn't terrible. So what IS too far? To me, personally, if you don't know his/her last name, then there should be no physical contact beyond a kiss while intoxicated. Thats just my personal boundary. Like I said, others might feel differently. I just don't want to feel as though I'me doing something with a stranger. I don't think that'd be a great feeling.
The flirting tips did not get very far, though but the conversation was pleasant and thought provoking.
Another thought provoking topic came up recently as well. Thanks to my friend Tene.
Her away message had said, "What's worse? Having a boyfriend thats not there or not having a boyfriend at all?"
My response was that its worse to have a boyfriend that is never there. I've had a boyfriend that was never there before and its worse than being single because its like he doesn't care. The feeling of someone that should care but still not caring is a tough thing to swallow. Its like all you want is to be with him and spend time with him however he somehow finds something else to occupy his time. It can make you feel like whatever he is doing is more important than you.
I understand that some guys are busy doing things that are positive and productive but is it really that hard to pick up a phone and text or call just to say, "hi how are you?" I have had this conversation with one of my exes a dozen times. He would disappear for MONTHS at a time. Once he went to HAWAII!!!! He swore that he wanted to call me but I never wanted to get off the phone thats why he never could make short calls. I said he was bullshitting and if he madeit a point to reach out to me at least once a day, I wouldnt get oober excited once he did and then get upset when he had to hang up.
Not all girls are asking to be on the phone 24/7. That is too time consuming and if you both are mature, you both understand that. However, do not use "i've been really busy" as an excuse to disappear and basically neglect your significant other. A simple text message can make a girl's day. Just knowing that you are thinking of her can make her feel so happy. But when she doesn't hear from you or see in in ages, it can get disheartening.
I voiced my opinion to my ex, which were totally uncalled for and stupid(Stephie can testify to that becaus eshe has seen quite a few), but some girls just take it without complaining. Which makes the guy think, in some cases, that it is okay. NO! Girls, please say something if you feel a certain way. The problem cannot be fixed if he is not aware. MEN CANNOT READ MINDS! We have to stop acting as though they can. I believe that if the problem is brought up, and still not addressed, he or she cannot say with validity, "I did not know." SO start speaking up. Do not nag becaus ethat gets you no where however, just sit him or her down (I'm using both gendres because women are not always victims to men. Sorry guys, I started to go on my "I hate men" mode then caught myself) and tell them how you feel in a mature and calm manner. If someone starts to get defensive, allow them to get their side out but do not let thme dominate the conversation either without saying what you have to. Usually when one is defensive, he or she feels that that they are at fault some how. Maybe not in the same way that you do but in some way.
Anywhooo thats all I have for now. This is running long but I promised that I would pick up on my slacking and I think I've begun he process. Right now I'm having another video chat with Darryl and I'm neglecting him by writing right now. So until another day, God bless!
~Noelle
Today is a good self esteem day for me.
First off last night I had a semi conversation with a guy that I've been lusting after for a few months. He's a party promoter in NY. All my friends know who I am talking about. I just thank my dear friend Stephie for helping with that. You are truly one of the greatest!!!
Second my friend with bennies informed me that the best sex he's ever had was with me. I know that seems like a stupid thing to be a little gassed about but lets be honest ladies and gentlemen, if your partner told you that they have the best sex with you over other people, you would get a little big headed as well. I'm just being honest here.
Also, things are going really well with Darryl. But I'm just going with the motions and not expecting anything from it. I noticed that once I invest too much, it falls apart. Besides its at the fun, flirty stage which is one of the best parts of relationships; when they are fresh and exciting and just beginning to flourish. I told him about my friend with bennies and he asked if he and I could have a relationship like that. Thats where I had to stop because I only want and need ONE friend with benefits. I explained to him that I only have that agreement with my friend because it just happened that way. And he and I have only been intimate twice and its only when we are both single and not involved with anyone else in any kind of way. It is purly physical. In fact we don't even kiss eachother because kissing is personal. Darryl said he understood. I told him that if he and I were to ever get to that point then it would be because he and I have established a relationship where we are more than friends and thats when I'd no longer need a friend with benefits. He said he'd rather work for that than have a friend with benefits thing with me. That made me feel a little better but I still have the thougt in my mind about how he jumped at the chance for sex no strings attached with me. Then again he is a guy and that usually is a guy's ideal. He's a virgin by the way. I was suprised because its by choice and he is 18. Thats not very common in teenage guys. So it just makes things more interesting.
Back to last night's conversation. It was brought up actually by another dear friend I have, whom I've mentioned before. My dearest Denley. She just randomly started a video chat session with me, of which she kicked off by performing a rendition of Souljah Boy's "Turn my Swagg On " wearing shades, martigras beads that she swears she didn't get from flashing anyone, and a scraf drapped over her head Jim Jones style. You just HAVE to love her for things like that. Anywho. She finished with her preformance and then told me about a situation that she was going throuhg. She likes a guy but doesn't know how to flirt with him. I've already explained to you all that I do not know how to flirt my way out of a brown paper bag if i had to, so I told her I couldn't help much. So we decided to have a group chat with a few people that are better flirters than we were. Stephie being one of them. We also invited Stephie's old boo and our friend from school, Danny and the part promoter. Thats how I got to speak to him. Bu it was said by the guy that I like that you can't really plan how to flirt. It has to come naturally. Which is true. It has to feel comfortable.
Denley also mentioned that she wants to flirt but doesn't want to come off as raunchy. We concluded that there is a very thin line between flirty and slutty. I think that line differs for each person though. What may be slutty to some may be not exactly conservative to others but it isn't terrible. So what IS too far? To me, personally, if you don't know his/her last name, then there should be no physical contact beyond a kiss while intoxicated. Thats just my personal boundary. Like I said, others might feel differently. I just don't want to feel as though I'me doing something with a stranger. I don't think that'd be a great feeling.
The flirting tips did not get very far, though but the conversation was pleasant and thought provoking.
Another thought provoking topic came up recently as well. Thanks to my friend Tene.
Her away message had said, "What's worse? Having a boyfriend thats not there or not having a boyfriend at all?"
My response was that its worse to have a boyfriend that is never there. I've had a boyfriend that was never there before and its worse than being single because its like he doesn't care. The feeling of someone that should care but still not caring is a tough thing to swallow. Its like all you want is to be with him and spend time with him however he somehow finds something else to occupy his time. It can make you feel like whatever he is doing is more important than you.
I understand that some guys are busy doing things that are positive and productive but is it really that hard to pick up a phone and text or call just to say, "hi how are you?" I have had this conversation with one of my exes a dozen times. He would disappear for MONTHS at a time. Once he went to HAWAII!!!! He swore that he wanted to call me but I never wanted to get off the phone thats why he never could make short calls. I said he was bullshitting and if he madeit a point to reach out to me at least once a day, I wouldnt get oober excited once he did and then get upset when he had to hang up.
Not all girls are asking to be on the phone 24/7. That is too time consuming and if you both are mature, you both understand that. However, do not use "i've been really busy" as an excuse to disappear and basically neglect your significant other. A simple text message can make a girl's day. Just knowing that you are thinking of her can make her feel so happy. But when she doesn't hear from you or see in in ages, it can get disheartening.
I voiced my opinion to my ex, which were totally uncalled for and stupid(Stephie can testify to that becaus eshe has seen quite a few), but some girls just take it without complaining. Which makes the guy think, in some cases, that it is okay. NO! Girls, please say something if you feel a certain way. The problem cannot be fixed if he is not aware. MEN CANNOT READ MINDS! We have to stop acting as though they can. I believe that if the problem is brought up, and still not addressed, he or she cannot say with validity, "I did not know." SO start speaking up. Do not nag becaus ethat gets you no where however, just sit him or her down (I'm using both gendres because women are not always victims to men. Sorry guys, I started to go on my "I hate men" mode then caught myself) and tell them how you feel in a mature and calm manner. If someone starts to get defensive, allow them to get their side out but do not let thme dominate the conversation either without saying what you have to. Usually when one is defensive, he or she feels that that they are at fault some how. Maybe not in the same way that you do but in some way.
Anywhooo thats all I have for now. This is running long but I promised that I would pick up on my slacking and I think I've begun he process. Right now I'm having another video chat with Darryl and I'm neglecting him by writing right now. So until another day, God bless!
~Noelle
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day
Okay so I'm a day late but HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!!
My valentine's day was nice. I actually had one this year. Well he is in NY still but we had a webcam date which was cute. Then later that night, I went to dinner with Des, Raina, Marc and Juss. It was fun. We went to Bahama Breeze Restraunt. And Monique and Gran had a little date at Gran's apartment. Toooooo cute! =) but thats all I really have to say as of now. I'm doin laundry and homework today so I'm a bit busy.
~Noelle
My valentine's day was nice. I actually had one this year. Well he is in NY still but we had a webcam date which was cute. Then later that night, I went to dinner with Des, Raina, Marc and Juss. It was fun. We went to Bahama Breeze Restraunt. And Monique and Gran had a little date at Gran's apartment. Toooooo cute! =) but thats all I really have to say as of now. I'm doin laundry and homework today so I'm a bit busy.
~Noelle
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Single and crushing
Remember how I was going on and on about how gorgeous the weather was? Well.....I ended up catching a really bad cold and loosing my voice this whole week. But I've gotten better and my voice is back now. So I'm feeling much better.
I have a quiz tomorrow in my Social Science class. Oh boy! So as I type this blog, I am supposed to be brushing up on chapters 1 and 2 in my textbook. However I feel it is necessary to blog instead. A shame, I know. Because my GPA for the first semester was horrible. I promised myself that I'd do better but I get distracted. I have the attentionspan of a toaster oven.
Anywhooooooo
So. There is a boy. Isn't there ALWAYS a boy? No but really. This boy. I like him.
I met him last summer right before I had to leave for school. I went to the movies with my friends Katie and Dana. I met Katie and Dana in the summer of 2007 when I went to Japan with The People to People Student Ambassitors Program. Google it. Anyway I'm getting off topic.
Katie, Dana and I decided to go see a movie that night. I honestly don't remeber what movie we saw but I know that we had a blast just laughing and joking. But while we were waiting on line to get our tickets I looked inside the building and saw this guy. I thought he was really cute so I did what girls usually do; show their girlfriend and giggle about it. I tapped Katie and Dana and pointed to him and Katie and I exchanged a few "Ooo"s and "giiiiiiirl"s. Then Dana looked and said, "I know him". It was then that Katie and I bombarded Dana with questions about who he was, if he was single, and things of that nature. Dana told us to hold on a minute and she went to say hello to him. We watched her point in our direction. I figured she was telling him and his friends who she was here with. After about 2 minutes she came back on line with Katie and I and she told us she knew him from school and that he is a year younger than us.
The rest of the night went by and we had fun laughing and joking. But the next day, Dana told me that she had mentioned me to him and he wanted to talk to me. He IM'd me and we shared our first conversation. I realized then that we was such a sweet guy. Since then, he and I have spoken often. Last night, I was feeling sick and a little down because once again things were a bit funny with the girls here at school. They all went to party and noone bothered to reach out to me except Lavel. But he stayed online with me for as long as he could and we had a very nice conversation. Then, this morning, the 1st thing he did when he signed online was ask me if I was feeling better.
Needless to say, I've developed a little crush on him. He said he'd come to visit me at school which I would really like if he did. We were supposed to hang out over the winter break but things happen and our plans fell through. But maybe we can spend sometime together over spring break or something. I think he is worth getting to know better.
When we were talking, he openly shared with me that he finds me sexually attractive. I had to tell him that that kind of relationship between us would definatly have to wait. His response was, "I know. I want to work for it." That right there just made me like him even more. I don't know if he was being sincer or just using smooth lines but I like what I heard. My ex once told me that G is only admitting that the things the person is saying to you are the right things. Thats exactly why I told my ex that he was The King of G. But he was right. So whether it isn't true or it is, it was something that I needed to hear since I feel that guys don't work for it much anymore, nor do girls make them.
But yes, I am single and crushing. And Valentine's Day is coming up. Its also his birthday. I know he is all the way in New York but I still think I might ask him to be my Valentine. Hmmmm.....I just finished convincing my friend Bee that she should ask a boy she likes so I might take my own advice.
BUT...it is time to wrap things up. I do have to study and What's Love Got to Do with It is coming on TV at 8:00 tonight and I want to see it. So until next time, toodles!!!
~Noelle
I have a quiz tomorrow in my Social Science class. Oh boy! So as I type this blog, I am supposed to be brushing up on chapters 1 and 2 in my textbook. However I feel it is necessary to blog instead. A shame, I know. Because my GPA for the first semester was horrible. I promised myself that I'd do better but I get distracted. I have the attentionspan of a toaster oven.
Anywhooooooo
So. There is a boy. Isn't there ALWAYS a boy? No but really. This boy. I like him.
I met him last summer right before I had to leave for school. I went to the movies with my friends Katie and Dana. I met Katie and Dana in the summer of 2007 when I went to Japan with The People to People Student Ambassitors Program. Google it. Anyway I'm getting off topic.
Katie, Dana and I decided to go see a movie that night. I honestly don't remeber what movie we saw but I know that we had a blast just laughing and joking. But while we were waiting on line to get our tickets I looked inside the building and saw this guy. I thought he was really cute so I did what girls usually do; show their girlfriend and giggle about it. I tapped Katie and Dana and pointed to him and Katie and I exchanged a few "Ooo"s and "giiiiiiirl"s. Then Dana looked and said, "I know him". It was then that Katie and I bombarded Dana with questions about who he was, if he was single, and things of that nature. Dana told us to hold on a minute and she went to say hello to him. We watched her point in our direction. I figured she was telling him and his friends who she was here with. After about 2 minutes she came back on line with Katie and I and she told us she knew him from school and that he is a year younger than us.
The rest of the night went by and we had fun laughing and joking. But the next day, Dana told me that she had mentioned me to him and he wanted to talk to me. He IM'd me and we shared our first conversation. I realized then that we was such a sweet guy. Since then, he and I have spoken often. Last night, I was feeling sick and a little down because once again things were a bit funny with the girls here at school. They all went to party and noone bothered to reach out to me except Lavel. But he stayed online with me for as long as he could and we had a very nice conversation. Then, this morning, the 1st thing he did when he signed online was ask me if I was feeling better.
Needless to say, I've developed a little crush on him. He said he'd come to visit me at school which I would really like if he did. We were supposed to hang out over the winter break but things happen and our plans fell through. But maybe we can spend sometime together over spring break or something. I think he is worth getting to know better.
When we were talking, he openly shared with me that he finds me sexually attractive. I had to tell him that that kind of relationship between us would definatly have to wait. His response was, "I know. I want to work for it." That right there just made me like him even more. I don't know if he was being sincer or just using smooth lines but I like what I heard. My ex once told me that G is only admitting that the things the person is saying to you are the right things. Thats exactly why I told my ex that he was The King of G. But he was right. So whether it isn't true or it is, it was something that I needed to hear since I feel that guys don't work for it much anymore, nor do girls make them.
But yes, I am single and crushing. And Valentine's Day is coming up. Its also his birthday. I know he is all the way in New York but I still think I might ask him to be my Valentine. Hmmmm.....I just finished convincing my friend Bee that she should ask a boy she likes so I might take my own advice.
BUT...it is time to wrap things up. I do have to study and What's Love Got to Do with It is coming on TV at 8:00 tonight and I want to see it. So until next time, toodles!!!
~Noelle
Monday, February 2, 2009
Its a Beautiful Life
Today is a gorgeous day! The sun is shinning and I'm in a pretty good mood.
My weekend was definatly well needed. I ended up taking a VERY last minute trip to New York for my cousin's babyshower. I didn't even know I was going until around 12:00 midnight on Friday night. I surprised everyone when I arrived at my aunt's house at 3:00 AM.
The baby shower was a lot of fun. There was laughs, food, music and family. Just the things I had been missing for sometime. I know I had just began school that week but I was beginning to feel a certain way about my friends here. I just felt out of the loop. But I never feel that way when I'm home.
My mom was so happy to see me. Our relationship has gotten a lot better since I went away to school. She and I have our rocky moments like every mother and daughter do. But I'm glad now that we laugh and talk more than give eachother the cold sholder.
We were talking about her relationship with this guy she met over the summer. He's related to my little's brother's best friend's mother. He is very different from the men my mother usually dated. My mother never really dated much, actually. There was her first husband who passed away(loooong story for another blog), my father whom she never married but was and is still madly in love with but he was in another situation(again another long story for another day) and finally my step father, father of my little brother, whom she just seperated from(yet another long story). Needless to say my mother and love aren't the best of friends. Which is sad beause she desperatly needs it. Not to say that there is no love in her life at all. She has me, my brother, my grandparents and the rest of our family. But when we were talking, I could see the lonliness in her eyes when she expressed to me that soon she'd be alone.
I'm off in college and before you know it, my littl ebrother won't be attached at her hip any more. She's prayed for a man in her life and now I'm praying for her to find one too. Someone that deserves her. She does so much. And she has been through more than most people will ever experience. She IS superwoman. So its time that my mother finds a superman. Thats where this new guy comes in.
Like I mentioned before, he is not the type my mother is used to. To put it simply, mom usually wears the pants in the relationships. She's a strong dominant woman and the men in her life could not handle it most times. This guy, however, is not the type to walk all over. He is a challenge for my mother. She's learning now how to just let him take the lead sometimes and be the man. When they both butt heads, its hilarious because they are both stubborn and refuse to be the first to apologize.
But this weekend, mom swallowed her pride an called him after a few months of silence between the two of them. She was waiting on him to call her back when I left Sunday afternoon. I hope he did. I kinda wanna meet this guy. I never got a chance to because I was never home in the summer when they had their dates. So, people, lets keep our fingers crossed for my mom.
My mom's guy has caused me to think a little bit about something. Men and their balls. Haha. I don't literally mean Their balls but the idea of being a tough guy and all. Why can't men handle it when women show that their balls might be a little bigger?
I'm old fashioned so I believe that a man should od what a man has to do and that somethings, even though a woman is very capable of doing, a man should just be in charge of. If you have a man, why not let him be one? The whole independant woman revolution has began to get a little wacky if you ask me. Its more than wonderful if you are capable of taking care of youself. In fact I believe that everyone, man or woman, has to know how to do things for themselves and must not depend on anyone for anything. But you wont find me picking up the check on a date just because I can. Not unless I want the man to feel as though he is not important.
I think that responsiblities should be 50/50. I have no problem cooking for my future husband at the end of the day as long as he has been out working or doing something to ean it. He should have no problem doing a little house work either. We should both be able to take care of eachother. I scratch your back if you scratch mine type of thing.
These thoughts apply to everything in a romantic relationship. Money, house work and even sex. I can't tell you how many times a guy has said to me that he enjoys recieving oral but will refuse to give it. HA! Personally I am a HUGE fan of oral. I'd rather get head than have actual sex. I also have no problem giving. Its sort of an ego boaster actually when you see that you have done a good job. BUT I will NOT be the only one giving and never recieving, thats for sure!
So guys, this whole "I love her 'cause she got her own" thing is cool. You should want a woman that can take care of herself. But remember that just because she is well off and can do for herself, that is not an excuse for you to slack off and not try to play your part as a man in the relationship.
Ladies, keep doing what you have to and don't rely on anyone to get where you want and need to be, but it is ok to let a guy do things for you. Holding doors, picking up the tab, etc. Expect these things because once we start acting like we accept that chivarly is dead, then it really is. Also, some men might not show it but they want to do things for us. And when we take that away from them, they feel like less of a man. Don't abuse it but appreciate it when it's done for you. And to anyone that I might be interested in and that is interested in me, know that chivalry is alive and well in my book so get used to being a gentleman.
Anywoooo....all this water I've been drinking for my diet has got my bladder doing backflips. So on that note I will leave you all.
~Noelle
My weekend was definatly well needed. I ended up taking a VERY last minute trip to New York for my cousin's babyshower. I didn't even know I was going until around 12:00 midnight on Friday night. I surprised everyone when I arrived at my aunt's house at 3:00 AM.
The baby shower was a lot of fun. There was laughs, food, music and family. Just the things I had been missing for sometime. I know I had just began school that week but I was beginning to feel a certain way about my friends here. I just felt out of the loop. But I never feel that way when I'm home.
My mom was so happy to see me. Our relationship has gotten a lot better since I went away to school. She and I have our rocky moments like every mother and daughter do. But I'm glad now that we laugh and talk more than give eachother the cold sholder.
We were talking about her relationship with this guy she met over the summer. He's related to my little's brother's best friend's mother. He is very different from the men my mother usually dated. My mother never really dated much, actually. There was her first husband who passed away(loooong story for another blog), my father whom she never married but was and is still madly in love with but he was in another situation(again another long story for another day) and finally my step father, father of my little brother, whom she just seperated from(yet another long story). Needless to say my mother and love aren't the best of friends. Which is sad beause she desperatly needs it. Not to say that there is no love in her life at all. She has me, my brother, my grandparents and the rest of our family. But when we were talking, I could see the lonliness in her eyes when she expressed to me that soon she'd be alone.
I'm off in college and before you know it, my littl ebrother won't be attached at her hip any more. She's prayed for a man in her life and now I'm praying for her to find one too. Someone that deserves her. She does so much. And she has been through more than most people will ever experience. She IS superwoman. So its time that my mother finds a superman. Thats where this new guy comes in.
Like I mentioned before, he is not the type my mother is used to. To put it simply, mom usually wears the pants in the relationships. She's a strong dominant woman and the men in her life could not handle it most times. This guy, however, is not the type to walk all over. He is a challenge for my mother. She's learning now how to just let him take the lead sometimes and be the man. When they both butt heads, its hilarious because they are both stubborn and refuse to be the first to apologize.
But this weekend, mom swallowed her pride an called him after a few months of silence between the two of them. She was waiting on him to call her back when I left Sunday afternoon. I hope he did. I kinda wanna meet this guy. I never got a chance to because I was never home in the summer when they had their dates. So, people, lets keep our fingers crossed for my mom.
My mom's guy has caused me to think a little bit about something. Men and their balls. Haha. I don't literally mean Their balls but the idea of being a tough guy and all. Why can't men handle it when women show that their balls might be a little bigger?
I'm old fashioned so I believe that a man should od what a man has to do and that somethings, even though a woman is very capable of doing, a man should just be in charge of. If you have a man, why not let him be one? The whole independant woman revolution has began to get a little wacky if you ask me. Its more than wonderful if you are capable of taking care of youself. In fact I believe that everyone, man or woman, has to know how to do things for themselves and must not depend on anyone for anything. But you wont find me picking up the check on a date just because I can. Not unless I want the man to feel as though he is not important.
I think that responsiblities should be 50/50. I have no problem cooking for my future husband at the end of the day as long as he has been out working or doing something to ean it. He should have no problem doing a little house work either. We should both be able to take care of eachother. I scratch your back if you scratch mine type of thing.
These thoughts apply to everything in a romantic relationship. Money, house work and even sex. I can't tell you how many times a guy has said to me that he enjoys recieving oral but will refuse to give it. HA! Personally I am a HUGE fan of oral. I'd rather get head than have actual sex. I also have no problem giving. Its sort of an ego boaster actually when you see that you have done a good job. BUT I will NOT be the only one giving and never recieving, thats for sure!
So guys, this whole "I love her 'cause she got her own" thing is cool. You should want a woman that can take care of herself. But remember that just because she is well off and can do for herself, that is not an excuse for you to slack off and not try to play your part as a man in the relationship.
Ladies, keep doing what you have to and don't rely on anyone to get where you want and need to be, but it is ok to let a guy do things for you. Holding doors, picking up the tab, etc. Expect these things because once we start acting like we accept that chivarly is dead, then it really is. Also, some men might not show it but they want to do things for us. And when we take that away from them, they feel like less of a man. Don't abuse it but appreciate it when it's done for you. And to anyone that I might be interested in and that is interested in me, know that chivalry is alive and well in my book so get used to being a gentleman.
Anywoooo....all this water I've been drinking for my diet has got my bladder doing backflips. So on that note I will leave you all.
~Noelle
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